Non Fiction:

The Blogs Are Here!!

My new blogs have just been put up.Visit my blogging page and find out what I, a total stranger you couldn't care less about, is thinking about life, ancient Rome, and anything else that comes to mind. Please visit and leave a comment, if you like.

Roman Articles:

 

Why did Caesar regularly pluck out all his body hair? Did this lend credence to the popular saying of his time, "Caesar is a man for all women and a woman for all men" ?

Did you know that dear old Uncle Claudius wrote a tract on the importance of breaking wind, and recommended this expulsion even at the dinner table? He even tried to get a law through the senate to the effect. I guess he wanted the senators to pass more than legislation.

History is full of the kind of gossip perhaps even the Enquirer would think twice about printing. Great writers of antiquity such as Suetonius, Polybius, Tacitus and Dio were also the major-league yentas of their time. Procopius, secretary of the Byzantine general Belisarius and author of the book The Secret History, wrote about the Emperor Justinian and his wife Empress Theodora in such terms as would rival the scandal mongering of a modern Hollywood exposé. Robert Graves took Tacitus' Annals of Imperial Rome as his model for the mayhem-riddled I, Claudius and Claudius the God. He also borrowed from Procopius for his lesser-known but no less exciting book Count Belisarius.

Most people avoid reading the ancient authors for fear of ponderous writing about forgotten places and events. It seems like a lot of investment just to get a little juicy information. Writers like Colleen McCullough, Steven Saylor and Lindsey Davis research directly from the classics, wrap them up in an interesting package and deliver it to millions of fans. What many of us don't realize is that, in the realm of the classics, the events as reported by the old historians are in many ways stranger and more exciting than their interpretation by modern writers.

• Elagabalus or I'm Too Sexy for My Toga (pdf)
• Dolphin Armrests and the God of Good Health (pdf)
• A Survey of the Roman Emperors (html)
• The Propylaeum (html)
• Writing and Reading in Ancient Rome (html)

Other Articles

• Coming to Kylie or How I learned to Embrace Pop Culture
• I Couldn't Be Less Serious (pdf) Writing Advice from One Who Probably Shouldn't Give Writing Advice to ANYONE.

Fiction

• An Unorthodox Sage (pdf file, flash e-book)

  In 2000 I decided to write a few stories about an idiot detective who would be like the Jacques Clousseau of the ancient world. Trouble was, nobody but I thought it was a good idea. Five years later and I'm still trying to sell a novel about Julius Claudius, the Observer. I decided it might be fun to put up his first adventure on the web. So here it is, An Unorthodox Sage, a nd if it serves as a lesson on how not to write a story, then so be it. Personally, I think the guy has a weird charm and deserves to be heard. So hearken to this great sage and by all means let me know what you think.

• Love is in the Air (pdf)

  This is a comedy monologue with what I hope is an unexpected twist at the end.

• Casebook of Bippy, the Clown Psychologist (pdf)

  Usually psychotherapists are a bunch of clowns anyway, but here's one who doesn't hide behind a diploma.